Search found 250 matches

by LordCretin
Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:37 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: The Person Below Me (TPBM)
Replies: 113
Views: 38931

Re: The Person Below Me (TPBM)

False, the cretin prefers his head to be free and easy while he snores. Even my bedsheets know better than to transgress beyond my neck. As for the bedbugs... meh, my breath takes care of them.

The person below me cannot match my overwhelming tolerance for excessively strong garlic.
by LordCretin
Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:54 am
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: Random Anecdotes or Humorous Happenings
Replies: 19
Views: 12488

Re: Random Anecdotes or Humorous Happenings

So I was thumbing through the pages of Pommies And Bushies Quarterly, when I happened on a story about Gobberwart. Wow, does his fame (infamy?) have no bounderies? The story was in the issue dated 13 November 2012, for those of you who want to check it out. He lost a no-confidence vote, when, as cha...
by LordCretin
Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:45 am
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: not-so-frequently asked questions
Replies: 72
Views: 31835

Re: not-so-frequently asked questions

I asked AnnieMay about this, but all she offered was exasperated eyes and then she threw her pokemon at me.

Are paradoxical inquisitions paracitical?
by LordCretin
Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:54 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing
Replies: 586
Views: 342979

Re: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing

Sallyfox is four years old today!
Or yesterday? Is it midnight yet? Do timezones affect this? Is it still 2012 in Aussieland?
Whadddeva, she's 4!
Happy sticker day Foxy!
(I wonder how old that makes her in human years...)
by LordCretin
Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:54 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing
Replies: 586
Views: 342979

Re: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing

BOO!
Caoimhin and Paulie, in association with The Veggie Patch, present:
A Sp00ky Chocco Sweetie Fest
by LordCretin
Fri Oct 26, 2012 5:22 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing
Replies: 586
Views: 342979

Re: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing

Oh! My! Gourd! Halloween is early! The sp00ky evening is almost here and Paulie and Caoimhin are like two kids on Christmas morning! They started the shenanigans early and have transmogrified into a pair of sugar-rushed/horror-fun giggly-b00 freaky fools! It took me two hours to fit my skin back on,...
by LordCretin
Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:04 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing
Replies: 586
Views: 342979

Re: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing

Sally broke the chain No more lips wrapped round hot fags Habit surrendered Gratz! ... /me mumbles quiet curses about not having any herbs available for immediate use. Sp00ky! The cretin is available till Hall0ween night, I'm back on shift from the 29th. oops! Edit: Funny how I always get this mixed...
by LordCretin
Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:53 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing
Replies: 586
Views: 342979

Re: Paradox Prattle........ its a daily thing

Wee! Te cretin staggered inna /chat tonight to catch some DJ-and-cider-chuckuleez, Cheers! Is time forra to go bed now, bye-byes.
by LordCretin
Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:12 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: DJ Snoopy
Replies: 7
Views: 10177

Re: DJ Snoopy

Here's to you, DJ Snoopy! May you rest in peace. My mum had the Big C, give her a big hug from her little cretin.
Bye Chris!
Wuv yoo Mumsie!
by LordCretin
Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:32 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Why hast thou abandoned me!?
Replies: 7
Views: 10148

Re: Why hast thou abandoned me!?

Shhh... be vewwy vewwy cwiet, te cwetin is fowum hunting...
(LordCretin will jump out from behind and tickle-pinch the ribs of anyone, every time they look at this thread.)
by LordCretin
Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:24 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Why hast thou abandoned me!?
Replies: 7
Views: 10148

Re: Why hast thou abandoned me!?

LordCretin has decided what we all need is a sudden orgasmic-like rush of pins-n-needles game-lust to keep us all phreaky-phrilled with the wazzup-wowzahz of what-may-come.
-ahem-,
excuse me while the cretin arranges himself in a shadowy corner...

...

Alright then, all ready!
by LordCretin
Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:16 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Paradox BIRTHDAY.......AGAIN!!
Replies: 15
Views: 14157

Re: Paradox BIRTHDAY.......AGAIN!!

As witness to Tensor's random draw on 30 August, 21:40: Tensor: "There will be drawing by random public role in chat from amongst all the entries for a "secret prize to be named latter" during the Birthday party." Tensor: OK this is the roll for the prize Tensor: so /roll 1d9 public Result of rollin...
by LordCretin
Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:38 pm
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Paradox BIRTHDAY.......AGAIN!!
Replies: 15
Views: 14157

Re: Paradox BIRTHDAY.......AGAIN!!

Caoimhin has joined Paulie at The Veggie Patch for a Birthday Bash minimum-price sale. The two of them have been busy collecting, cooking and producing (I nearly fainted when I saw the state of my kitchen!) and are giggley-excited about showing off their wares and earning some pocket money. I'll onl...
by LordCretin
Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:35 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Limited access for an unknown amount of time... :(
Replies: 5
Views: 9159

Re: Limited access for an unknown amount of time... :(

/me pops an aspirin and considers considering some fermentationary related discipline.
by LordCretin
Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:27 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Limited access for an unknown amount of time... :(
Replies: 5
Views: 9159

Re: Limited access for an unknown amount of time... :(

h33333rr3w somthinf to try.. I aven;t checked otuoout, so Idunno have. A try it may workcometothinnk ofit. it may be britain ponly. Find ouyt! NEver used it, cust heard about it www.sambamobile.com wow tryed tat sevvra timees hop is r ig good idea is wach ads fir free" innanet . appertnently for 2/h...
by LordCretin
Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:24 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Paradox BIRTHDAY.......AGAIN!!
Replies: 15
Views: 14157

Re: Paradox BIRTHDAY.......AGAIN!!

Wee!
Paulie is busy producing pies for The Veggie Patch.
by LordCretin
Thu Aug 09, 2012 11:52 am
Forum: Gameplay Discussion
Topic: beta launch souvenir goodies bag
Replies: 12
Views: 12801

Re: beta launch souvenir goodies bag

Hangover spectacles (or as some frunken dools would have you believe: beer goggles) that make you appear to be listening/watching intently, but randomly mix your vowels.
by LordCretin
Wed Jul 25, 2012 5:07 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.
Replies: 31
Views: 17135

Re: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.

Cloaks stress in honey
And drops it down an ant hill
Routs ruin with pain

Now go treat yourself
Throw chimpanzees at strangers
From a street corner
Chuck in the odd raspberry
While dressed like Julie Gillard


Hee, hee, hee...
The cretin lurks, hiding in peripheral sights, twisting his towel...
by LordCretin
Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:54 pm
Forum: Wiki
Topic: Leave of Absence
Replies: 11
Views: 11529

Re: Leave of Absence

Bon voyage, may all your waves behave reasonably
by LordCretin
Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:42 pm
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: Who breaks in to a house and doesn't steal anything?
Replies: 15
Views: 11453

Re: Who breaks in to a house and doesn't steal anything?

Do inform the police. The officers for your area will then be aware there is a problem and just maybe, you might help prevent a neighbour's home being done over.
by LordCretin
Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:53 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.
Replies: 31
Views: 17135

Re: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.

I got wet yesterday. It been raining heavily in Britain (of course it has - it's the Wimbleton tennis champs and it ALWAYS rains out). Cardiff though, has been reletively dry (no flooding here at least). jupider, you are justified to find comfort in your limited good fortune and I wish your neighbou...
by LordCretin
Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:38 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.
Replies: 31
Views: 17135

Re: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.

Whips commandermack
Turns him a shade of beet red
Maniacal laugh
by LordCretin
Fri Jun 22, 2012 12:06 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.
Replies: 31
Views: 17135

Re: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.

Runs up to Cowboy
Whips him with a wet towel
... waits for more victims
by LordCretin
Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:15 pm
Forum: News & Announcements
Topic: Happy Bday GOB!
Replies: 6
Views: 27145

Re: Happy Bday GOB!

Gobba Gobba Hey!
May your newest bidet shine
And your movements flow
by LordCretin
Tue May 29, 2012 2:44 pm
Forum: News & Announcements
Topic: Changes with Paradox. EVERYONE READ!
Replies: 12
Views: 27160

Re: Changes with Paradox. EVERYONE READ!

yuu go! Ragga1 alRRIiite!! srry or lckka resabulk feedcback bu i cete enooooooooouf contrfersy at mi qwn work so II in gan=me just sit back an enjoi the game and wat deffelopss/ surprize us23211! rockn tr roll!

RAgz andf G)bb,,, i wanns haf yur babbiess!! rokk on !
by LordCretin
Tue May 29, 2012 2:27 pm
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Radio Contest No need to listen to play BIG PRIZES!
Replies: 39
Views: 24618

Re: Radio Contest No need to listen to play BIG PRIZES!

Welll ok iam deerunk bud oo pinnd me ribs agin de pluug so Ok i anner. I got sum wikkid tste im unussal musixc bud i dont; gi=ey mp3 es i don havv em .. i dont kmow legal tallitees off file shaarink i don know watz OK Or not maybee i cud find ssomu ntereating sungs but ten iss iy ok to downlood ab s...
by LordCretin
Mon May 28, 2012 9:11 pm
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: not-so-frequently asked questions
Replies: 72
Views: 31835

Re: not-so-frequently asked questions

Your reflection on a glass rabbit

Comedic tradition has overexposed my cochleas to non-existant sexualisation through cunning linguistics.
Should I blame the British or French for double entendres, or am I a just sinner in need of a good thrashing?
by LordCretin
Mon May 28, 2012 10:18 am
Forum: Radio
Topic: Name the Auto DJ Winner
Replies: 3
Views: 21964

Re: Name the Auto DJ Winner

/me pulls off his toenails and tap dances in Homer Simpson's nemeses-peppers, while squealing with joyful expectation.
Guatemala! Ho!
Insanity! Ya!
Peppers! Baby!
by LordCretin
Sat May 26, 2012 11:01 am
Forum: Radio
Topic: Why have I never heard this song!?
Replies: 1
Views: 7691

Re: Why have I never heard this song!?

Dominique by The Singing Nun On the stength of this one song, I picked up her first album and spent (pre-internet) years with eye to finding a copy of her second album, only to eventually discover that everything else she recorded, offered me all the comfort of camembert stuffed with thumb tacks. C'...
by LordCretin
Wed May 23, 2012 4:58 am
Forum: Community
Topic: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.
Replies: 31
Views: 17135

Re: Where the ^%$@ is everyone.

Oh no you DIDN'T!
Raga implied the F word!
I'm telling the Gobb!
by LordCretin
Wed May 23, 2012 4:48 am
Forum: Radio
Topic: Name the Auto DJ contest-Finished
Replies: 14
Views: 12115

Re: Name the Auto DJ contest

FlyBoy Filcher
Meh... maybe not, the cretin doesn't want to be back on the radar of the nuns from his school daze. Rumour was, they were... undying.

I offer up my suggestion:
DJ LavaLips
by LordCretin
Tue May 22, 2012 11:35 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Radio Contest No need to listen to play BIG PRIZES!
Replies: 39
Views: 24618

Re: Radio Contest No need to listen to play BIG PRIZES!

Surely all that sucking can't be all bad? The cretin is well aquainted with 80's underground, it's don't-go-there lyrics, it's everyone get on the stage attitude and gigs imploding or being shut down by the authorities. Some of my favourite songs from the 80's dallied in the joys of necropheilia and...
by LordCretin
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:33 am
Forum: Community
Topic: This was on my Kitchen wall.
Replies: 4
Views: 9004

Re: This was on my Kitchen wall.

/Me twists a swine's ear
And scowls like a gorilla
To disguise my screams
by LordCretin
Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:38 am
Forum: Community
Topic: This was on my Kitchen wall.
Replies: 4
Views: 9004

Re: This was on my Kitchen wall.

Harbinger of Doom
Arachnid Apocalypse
Dee the Destroyer
by LordCretin
Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:31 pm
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: Short Story I wrote.
Replies: 3
Views: 7751

Re: Short Story I wrote.

/Me experiences fear and loathing in Paradox.
by LordCretin
Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:23 pm
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Chat Event April 6th and 7th
Replies: 25
Views: 15031

Re: Chat Event April 6th and 7th

I guess the yolk's on all of us.
by LordCretin
Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:02 pm
Forum: Suggestions
Topic: Some More Leaderboards
Replies: 1
Views: 7246

Re: Some More Leaderboards

The cretin agrees with the cowboy and offers one more:
Mostest of all of them - Hedonist Extraordinaire / Hedonistest
by LordCretin
Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:47 pm
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Chat Event April 6th and 7th
Replies: 25
Views: 15031

Re: Chat Event April 6th and 7th

/Me cracks up.
Hyolk, hyolk, hyolk!
by LordCretin
Mon Mar 26, 2012 1:06 am
Forum: Radio
Topic: Its F-ing Brutal usually
Replies: 1
Views: 7530

Re: Its F-ing Brutal usually

Brutal! You go guRRRL!
Have you kissed the Blarney Stone?
Your show was good fun
by LordCretin
Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:25 pm
Forum: Suggestions
Topic: New quests!
Replies: 8
Views: 8872

Re: New quests!

Oh! But what if you have gender reassignment 50 years from now and can't afford to pay back the Tranz-Mafia loan sharkz0rs? What if you went on the lamb, hiding out in the past... at a certain uni? What if your future-past self was-is an emotionally burned out husk, from all those years of assassina...
by LordCretin
Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:35 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Chat Event April 6th and 7th
Replies: 25
Views: 15031

Re: Chat Event April 6th and 7th

Oeuffy Eggscusings!
The cretin will be working
I hope it's quiet
If no gigs are on, I'm there
Eggspect Paulie's Puddin Pash
by LordCretin
Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:40 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Chat event March 15th and 16th
Replies: 29
Views: 16811

Re: Chat event March 15th and 16th

Wee! And double wee!
/me feels so rare and shiny
Funzees and prizees
by LordCretin
Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:02 am
Forum: Radio
Topic: Welcome
Replies: 5
Views: 8270

Re: Welcome

Welcome Spiff!
by LordCretin
Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:26 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: The Person Below Me (TPBM)
Replies: 113
Views: 38931

Re: The Person Below Me (TPBM)

The cretin twirls a spin, looks back and whispers:
Defy to deny it!

The person below me has googly eyes.
by LordCretin
Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:49 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: RALLY THE TROOPS! PARADOX MOVES FORWARD!
Replies: 28
Views: 17428

Re: RALLY THE TROOPS! PARADOX MOVES FORWARD!

>.>
<.<
oo...er...
The cretin feels faint...
by LordCretin
Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:42 am
Forum: Gameplay Discussion
Topic: Beta
Replies: 19
Views: 15426

Re: Beta

LordCretin runs past the tomaters, reporter and pole beans, nekkid as a jay bird. He flashes a moon at Ethel and grandstands while dribbling a hook shot with a shock absorber. Like the fastest thing on two feet, he slides across the grease rack, waving to Gobberwart and winking to Mr Stevens before ...
by LordCretin
Thu Jan 05, 2012 8:48 am
Forum: Community
Topic: 2012
Replies: 3
Views: 8773

Re: 2012

/Me looks over the turrets from his Fortess of Not-The-Big-Bad-World (behind the sofa) and peers into this unknown entity. He dips a finger in the chronological waves and soakes in some inviting warmth.

Hmmm...
This just may be the thing we've all been waiting for,
Happy New Year!
by LordCretin
Sat Dec 24, 2011 6:36 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Christmas Chat Event -- Dec. 22nd
Replies: 22
Views: 13851

Re: Christmas Chat Event -- Dec. 22nd

Paulie Pease says thanks for his first Christmas bash, we both had fun. Holiday hugs and smoochies to all!
by LordCretin
Sun Dec 18, 2011 5:40 am
Forum: Contests & Events
Topic: Christmas Chat Event -- Dec. 22nd
Replies: 22
Views: 13851

Re: Christmas Chat Event -- Dec. 22nd

/Me dances to The Jingle Bell Rock. The cretinous one will be in work. (Boo!) Hopefully it will be a quiet day. (Yay! ...maybe) I'll tippity-tap-toe my way to the party, if I can. Watch out for my mistletoe/spiderweb grenades! Paulie will certainly at least drop by. He has been busy cooking up some ...
by LordCretin
Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:08 pm
Forum: Community
Topic: The Person Below Me (TPBM)
Replies: 113
Views: 38931

Re: The Person Below Me (TPBM)

The Gratification Inflection: When Sheldon steps out of the room for a minute, the guys strap LordCretin to Sheldon's place on the sofa. They then bet the last of the dumplings, to see to see if he can hold a straight face. The person below me views the Christmas season through at least one set of l...