Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

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Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:27 pm

Chapter 1

John surveyed the landscape and let out a breath of relief. Looking out toward the horizon, the only things watching him were rocks, trees, and the occasional stray flock of birds, nearing the end of their return journey from their winter vacation. He dropped the cigarette out of his mouth, snuffed it out with his boot, briefly stared at it with a subdued expression of realization, picked it back up and stuffed it into his front pocket. Over his shoulder were the two long lovers created by his Jeep, slowly meeting each other in the distance, yet never getting any closer to each other. He began hoping the expected rain will wash them away, erasing their bittersweet story forever. He then looked at the raised patch of ground next to him. It had rained two days ago, so the ground just below the surface was still damp. This made the patch of disturbed earth a slightly darker shade of brown.
A darker shade to hide the darkness below it.
After tossing a few loose bits of foliage and rocks on top of and around the grave, he compared it to the rest of the area. He hoped no one would notice; after all, no one has found the other two yet. Yet. He had made a mistake this time. The rain. He never thought about the rain. Before, the ground was completely dry, so his little man-made molehills seamlessly blended in to the surroundings. He stared at his dark mountain and hoped no one would be out this way any time soon.
He made one last glance around, focusing a little more intently at the small patch of trees near the natural spring. He had to squint to get a good look at them and briefly thought about going over to refill his water bottle, but he was in a hurry to leave. The rain would return in a few hours and he wanted his forthcoming set of lovers to perish along with the other.
He watched as one last flock of birds flew by, oblivious to the horrors below them. Or maybe just ignorant. He then picked up his shovel, got into his Jeep and drove off toward the mountains.

As soon as he was out of view, Nicholas let out a loud sigh of exasperation, and, shaking and nervous, climbed down out of the tree and collapsed at the edge of the spring.

To Be Continued...
Last edited by jupider on Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Sat Aug 17, 2013 4:06 pm

When Nicholas awoke, it was nearly dark. The sun had hidden itself behind the horizon probably no more than 15 minutes ago, and the look of the clouds coming in indicated that it may begin raining anytime soon. The moon stared quizzically at the man who fell out of the tree, but did not seem to have any other concerns about him. Nicholas stared up at his hiking pack, still caught in some branches high above, barely visible in the fading light. He could not retrieve it. As dark as it was getting, he was likely to miss a footing and fall, amplified by the fact that he was still a little bit shaken up from earlier.
A quick survey of the area showed no sign of anyone else. He was sure the man he spotted earlier thought the exact same thing as well. He thought he was noticed when the man stared in his direction for several moments shortly before departing in his truck. Nicholas didn't know what he should do. He knew he didn't want to go east, in the direction of the other man, even though that was his original destination. Looking in the opposite direction, he saw the clearing in the trees close to the horizon that indicated the trail back to the campsite. The other man hadn't come from that way. He hadn't come from the way he departed, either. More from the north, but there was nothing that way. Nothing. This vast clearing was merely just one of the many open dry prairies between the small towns and cities to the west and the mountains. And this one was probably the least traveled. Most of the others had year-round springs for wanderers to stop at, but this one was seasonal, usually only around for a few days at a time after it would rain.
Nicholas briefly thought about returning to the campsite before making his way back to town to inform the authorities about what he thinks he saw, but that would take the better part of a day, even if he did retrieve his hiking pack. Instead, he decided to investigate in the direction that the man came from. He could possibly gather more information or evidence before coming back for his pack and heading back to the town. It was getting darker, and with the moon now almost completely shrouded by clouds, he would be almost invisible while making the short trip, roughly 3 hours at a steady pace, he guessed.
As he began walking, he felt the first few drops of water land on him and he started feeling a bit more relaxed, albeit his mind was still processing what he had watched. Not too long after, his heart skipped a beat as he flinched to his right. To the mountains. He saw headlights.
He began to think he would make his trip in much less time.

To Be Continued...

(Edited to avoid a plot hole.)
Last edited by jupider on Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:23 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by Eboli2x4 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:08 pm

Following.... :)


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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by Cowboy » Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:59 pm

Keep going... :D
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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Wed Aug 21, 2013 3:54 pm

With all the rain coming down, Nicholas could barely follow the tire tracks anymore, but looking ahead he could see the area in the taller grass and brush where the truck came from. Whoever it was was not concerned with concealing his route. He was nearly out of breath from running, but had slowed down when he realized that the headlights that were coming from the mountains were not apparently following him. They were more or less cutting straight across the plains, toward the trail in the woods. He didn't figure how far the headlights could get as the trails cannot accommodate a vehicle of any size due to all the rough terrain and thick trees. In fact, seeing vehicles of any kind in these areas is a rarity. Two in one day is extremely odd, if not suspicious.
His pants were getting soaked and with all the knee-high wet grass to push through, he was really getting worn out, but dared not stop. He continued to follow the flattened blades as they took slow, meandering curves around the sporadically-placed trees and rocks. Overall, the newly-created trail gradually changed its course from a due north direction into a more north-western direction. Recurring thoughts of what the man had buried in the dirt kept washing their way onto the shore of his mind. Deep down he was hoping it was just some lonely hippie planting a tree or something, but he know better. You don't need to bury something that size to plant a tree. Even though he was too far away to see any details, he knew what was buried. He knew something horrible had happened. And he knew he was the only person who knew anything about it and that put him in a very uncomfortable situation. And a very dangerous one. He would have to watch his step and keep a keen eye on anyone who may be doing the same to him.
Nicholas came to a stop and looked out in front of him. What he saw boggled his mind. The makeshift trail continued on ahead of him, made a wide u-turn, and met right back at the spot he was standing at, forming what could only be described as a giant teardrop. The truck simply turned around and went back on the exact same path it came in on. He suddenly had the feeling he was set up or sent on a wild goose chase. He slowly walked around the curve, looking for anything that may be a clue to the other man's reason for being here. Walking slowly and glancing back and forth at the ground, he found what he was looking for: cigarette butts. Four to be exact, carelessly thrown on the ground at about the apex of the u-turn. Whoever was here had been here for quite a while. But why? What is anywhere near here? He looked up and around and may have found his answer. About 20 feet away was a small creek. Not too big to cross by foot, but with the steep banks it would be quite a feat to cross it with a standard 4x4. You'd need a serious off-roader to get across it. After reaching down to pick up one of the cigarette butts for future reference, he looked a little further and it clicked. Off in the distance, above the trees toward the horizon were the glowing lights of civilization.

Pine Haven.

To Be Continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."


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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by sodafett » Mon Aug 26, 2013 6:11 am

definitely interested, continue :)
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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:09 pm

She knew as she pulled in to the driveway that something was wrong. And not the "he's-just-running-late-from-work" wrong, but the "something-is-definitely-wrong" wrong. She had known that her husband was going to be gone for the weekend, so she took an extra day off of work to take a small trip out of state to visit her mother for a long weekend. It was now late Monday, probably about 8 o'clock in the evening, and his car wasn't there. She knew he didn't take an extra day. And she knew that he never stayed for more than an hour or so when he did work late. Unless he went somewhere and didn't let her know, which he never did, then something was definitely wrong.
When she went inside she started to panic a little bit more. She knew he had to be home by this morning to go to work, but it did not appear that anyone had been in the house since they left Friday afternoon. The fact that he did not leave his coffee mug on the kitchen table solidified this fact. In the 12 years that they had been married, he had never once left his mug anywhere but on the kitchen table. It became so much of a known joke between the two of them that she even had a custom placemat made for him she give as a gift one Christmas that had a circle with the words "Coffee Mug Here" in it. She looked on the table at it and tried not to cry.
She picked up the phone and called his work. When she got the automated response that their office was closed and to call back during business hours, she cursed herself for not realizing what time it was. She now knew she would not get any sleep this night.
She pulled her address book out of her purse and looked for Paul's number. Paul and her husband have been best friends since Grade School; if anyone know where he was, it would be Paul. She dialed the numbers. After two rings, a woman picked up.
"Hello?" It must have been Paul's wife.
"Hello, Claire. It's Melissa. Is Paul home? I need to know if he's talked to my husband recently."
"Hang on, he's upstairs. Let me ask him." A few moments went by and she could hear a muffled conversation between the two, Claire obviously had her hand over the phone out of reflex. She then came back. "I'm going to let you talk to him,this seems important."
Melissa's heart skipped a beat.
"Melissa?"
"Yes?"
"You guys really need to get an answering machine. Mr. Jacobs called me once this morning and twice in the afternoon."
Mr. Jacob's was her husband's boss. Her heart skipped another beat. "What's wrong?"
"Nobody knows. He didn't show up to work today. They tried calling you, but you never answered so they called me. I guess they must have my number as an alternate contact."
"Yeah. I was at my mom's. The must still have your number from way back when you guys were roommates there."
"Probably. Sounds about right. Are you okay? Was his mug not on the table?"
"No, it wasn't." She paused for a little bit. "Paul, I'm really worried. I've got a really bad feeling about this. I'm afraid something horrible has happened to him. He insisted on taking one last hike into the mountains before spring hit, but he's never been gone for longer than he has said. He's always been home on time. What should I do?"
"For starters, don't worry. If there's one thing I know, it's that he's just fine. He probably just got caught in that rainstorm the other night. Probably was forced to stay an extra night because of it."
"Well if it was just one extra night, then why isn't he home by now?"
"I don't know, but I'm sure he's fine. For now, just get some sleep. Try not to think about it. Tomorrow Claire and I will come over and the three of us with get a game plan going. But right now, just rest. Okay?"
She paused to catch her breath. "Okay. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Tell Claire I said good night."
"Will do. See you tomorrow."
Melissa hung up the phone and plopped down on the sofa.
The only thing she could think about was Nicholas.

To Be Continued...
Last edited by jupider on Tue Feb 04, 2014 7:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:29 pm

A quick intermission to give a few notes about Pine Haven.

First off, this story is entirely, completely, 100% non-predetermined. Just like the writers of Lost, I have no idea where it's going. One day driving home from work, I had an idea for the start of a story, so I posted it here and gave it the title of a motel happened to be driving past at the time. And that was it. I didn't have any other characters, locations or anything thought up. Just a short "wouldn't this be a cool opening for a book" moment. So that's when I decided that that was what I was going to do. I've never written a book before and doing so without anything outlined is probably the worst way to do it, which brings me to my second point: I may need to make revisions. I try to write each section with as much detail as I can to keep them interesting, yet still be suspenseful (the whole point of the story), but sometimes this can create potential plot holes or discrepancies in future sections. As a result, if I come up with a new section that absolutely requires the reworking of an existing one, I will be forced to edit the previous one. I do not want to make a habit of this! Ideally, I would like to never need to edit any of the existing sections and instead just tailor the new sections to be canon, but I believe that that would be an exercise in futility and, ultimately, unavoidable. So what I ask of you is to keep an eye on the edited sections and re-read them. Or, until it gets longer, just re-read the entire story with every new section posted. I'm not going to indicate or make notes about what changed; you'll just need to keep an eye out for the edited posts and take them for what they are. But I will try to avoid edits as much as possible. And lastly, keep the feedback coming! I enjoy writing, but if it doesn't appear that anyone is interested, I'll probably get bored and stop. Don't be afraid to make posts between sections; in fact, I encourage it. The more praise I get, the more hyped I'll be to continue.
I'm looking forward to creating an epic story and I'm hoping everyone will enjoy it. And with any luck, no one will copy/paste it and get it copyrighted. lol. Happy Reading!
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."


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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by Cowboy » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:55 pm

I like it so far :D
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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:08 pm

John paced around impatiently. He'd been waiting here for almost an hour and nobody has shown up. The only reason he convinced himself to stay for was the money. He was asked to do this on short notice, so to make up for it, he asked for extra. The man was way too eager to pay the extra. That meant he was either desperate or the person was already dead.
He resigned from his meandering and decided to relax in his Jeep. He flipped on the radio to hear if the news was talking about any "suspicious activity" that may have been a result of the man he was waiting for. Not that it mattered. There was no real news on the radio other than the typical automotive fender-benders and the careless antics of drunk college students. He lit his cigarette and changed the channel to the light oldies when he finally noticed the dark figure making its way out of the trees on the other side of the creek. With the large "package" slumped over his shoulder, John knew it was the guy he was waiting for. He didn't know if it was the same man he talked to on the phone, and he didn't care. As long as he had the money.
The rear hatch on his Jeep was already open, so the man walked straight to the back, dumped it in and shut it. He then pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket while walking around to the driver's door and placed it in the window. John took the envelope, opened it and examined the thick stack of hundred dollar bills in it. He gave a quick smirk, dropped his cigarette out the window, started his Jeep and drove off, leaving the unknown man standing there in the dark. John saw the trail he made from his trip in and decided to follow it back out so the wouldn't get lost.
After about 20 minutes of rough travel, the ground began smoothing out and he could see the open prairie up ahead. He stopped before proceeding to assess the situation. Shutting the engine off and getting out, John walked around to the back of the truck, opened the rear hatch, and slid the mass of wrapped-up sheets closer toward him. After determining which end was the head, John pulled the covering away and his heart began to race a bit faster as he discovered the body of a very attractive 20-something woman.
John could feel the demons begin to stir in his head.
Judging by her age and attire, he determined that she was a student at Pine Haven Academy. And because of his shadowy friend's lack of concern, she was probably from out of town and nobody would notice she would be gone for a while. Or at least until Monday. But he wasn't worried. He never was.
As John reached to her neck to feel for a pulse, or lack thereof, his demons became restless. After successfully determining that she was in fact dead, he gave in and slowly slid his hand downward under her blouse and cupped his hand over her still warm breast. He could feel himself get excited. It was now impossible to ignore the demons. John leaned his head back, tightened his eyes, clenched his teeth, and tried everything he could to fight them off.
Everything went black.

John woke up staring at the inside roof of the back of his Jeep. Looking out the window, he could see it was still dark, but did not know for how much longer. He sat up and looked at his watch. Only an hour or so had been lost. Even though he still had plenty of time, he cursed himself anyway. He re-wrapped the body next to him before getting out of the truck. Walking back around to the driver's door, he started up the Jeep and headed out into the open prairie to find a good place to dig a grave.

To Be Continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."


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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by sodafett » Sun Sep 08, 2013 5:05 pm

Keep it coming, this is good :)
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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Mon Sep 09, 2013 3:12 pm

Claire and Paul never showed up. Melissa knew she had to get back to work today, but called her supervisor to let him know she just needed one more day. She briefly explained what was going on and he understood. His wife had died in a car accident a few years back while she was on a business trip and she was missing for several days before he got the news, so she knew he would understand her situation. Impatient of the waiting and tired of getting a busy signal when calling, Melissa decided to just go over to their house. She left the note on Nicholas' coffee mat, grabbed her keys, and headed out the door.
Nicholas and Paul grew up in Pine Haven. They've been friends since kindergarten and barely spent any time apart while growing up. When the were kids, they lived across the street from each other. After they graduated High School, they became roommates and rented a house near Pine Haven Academy, where they both attended classes. Nicholas studied medicine and Paul computer engineering. Paul completed his schooling first and started up a small home PC repair business, which ultimately grew into a local corporation with 5 branches extending well outside of Pine Haven. Nowadays he spends less time at his shop doing work and more time at the Academy as a member of the Alumni Board where he mostly keeps students and teachers up to date with the latest technology. And by making a little under six figures a year, he has a fairly easy time doing so. Nicholas, on the other hand, is a little more meticulous with his studies. He got his nursing degree, but ultimately decided that that wasn't good enough. He recently enrolled in advanced medicine classes to become a doctor. He has two more years here and then he'll need to transfer to a medical university where he'll need to take at least another 5 years for his Ph.D. His ultimate goal is to become a surgeon, but he's not looking forward to leaving Pine Haven.
Paul is still living in the house that he and Nicholas rented from way back then. Once Paul got a decent amount of money saved up, he went ahead and purchased it from the landlord who was more than happy to sell it at a substantial discount, paid full in cash. The landlord was looking to get out of the business and retire and Paul's offer was just the push he needed to get started. The house was only 2 miles from the Academy and sometimes Melissa wished Nicholas still lived across the street so she didn't have to drive 20 minutes to get to work, although she still enjoyed the quietness of living on the outskirts of town.
When Melissa arrived, she saw both Paul and Claire's cars in their driveway, just in front of the piles of dirt with string stretched between stakes marking where their soon-to-be-constructed garage was going to be erected. Paul had been wanting a garage for years, and judging by his new car, she decided that that was why he suddenly got the urge to get it started. Melissa stopped in the street and started approaching the house when Claire came out the front door.
"Oh God, Melissa, I'm so sorry I didn't call you, but I've been on the phone with the police all morning. Paul is gone now, too!"
Melissa gasped. "What happened?"
"I don't know exactly. I was in the shower. He came in and said someone was at the door and he needed to go outside for a minute and talk to him. When I was done, I searched the house and didn't find him. The front door was unlocked and he was nowhere to be found. I've been up all night waiting and finally called the police about two hours ago. They told me that someone needs to be missing for at least twenty-four hours before they can be reported missing but I told them that was bullshit and they need to fill out a report right now. I've been arguing for so long that I'm nearly ready to give in."
"Don't give up. We'll find him." Melissa paused. "In fact, we'll find both of them. I say we both go down to the station right now and fill out reports for both of them. Believe me, I know how you feel right now."
"Well then why the hell are we still here?"
Melissa took Claire's subtle hint and they both got into Melissa's car and headed toward the police station. Neither of them noticed the black sedan following them.

To Be Continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:35 pm

Paul thought about Claire. About her eyes. About her smile. About her dimples when she giggled. And about the way her eyes rolled back in her head when she was climaxing. He smiled to himself as he recalled all the good times they had spent together. The summer in Ireland. The winter in Alaska. The impromptu "second honeymoon" as they called it to Jamaica. He drifted back to when they had first met. It was in kindergarten. He had dropped something under the table. What was it that he had dropped? It was so long ago he couldn't clearly remember. But he remembered her like it was yesterday.
"I have really good eyes. I can find it."
He couldn't remember what he dropped, but he certainly remembered what he had found.
As the years went by, they became good friends. They teamed up in classes to do projects together. They always partnered up in gym class. They used each other as models in art class. They seemed inseparable. But by the fifth grade, she seemed to start noticing other boys. One of them, Ryan, seemed to have a certain amount of charm that even he could pick up on. To him, it had appeared that Claire was losing interest and turning instead toward Ryan. For a time, jealousy had overcome him. Ultimately, after seeing how unhealthy he was becoming, he let her go. Weeks went by as he wallowed in his own depression. He wondered what was wrong with him. What did I do? Soon afterward, he tried to ignore her by focusing on another. What was her name? Heather? Amanda? He couldn't remember. He remembered she was blonde. And that she had a cute smile. But it was a smile that only reminded him of Claire.
He deeply missed Claire.
He remembered going to the roller rink with his new "girlfriend." The whole time there he wished it was Claire. They talked about a lot of things. Their home lives, their favorite classes in school, and what they wanted to be when the grew up. He knew what he wanted to be. He wanted to be Claire's husband.
He missed her so much.
And then one day he saw Claire crying. It had been so long since they've talked he was afraid to ask her what was wrong. And then he started crying. It hurt him to see her like that. He would never allow her to feel like that if he was with her. He would make sure of it.
Later that day he had seen Ryan. With Alicia. They were holding hands. At that moment he knew why Claire was crying.
Something snapped. He remembers seeing flashes of white, a horrid metallic smell in his nose, and the tensing of his muscles. He doesn't remember what he did, but he knew it was bad. His mom made him visit Ryan in the hospital and apologize. Made him stand there and say he's sorry for what he had done when he knew full well that it was Ryan who should be apologizing.
For a while, Claire kept quiet. She didn't talk to much of anyone. Even her close friends were becoming distant. He knew he had to step in before she fell into that dark abyss any further. One day on the playground, he picked a dandelion from near the fence and offered it to her. She looked at him as if he were the first person to acknowledge her existence. That was the first day that he saw her true face. The face of someone who realized that they were truly loved. And that face never went away.
And now that face was the only image in his mind.
For the rest of their schooling, they had spent their time together again. Nothing could separate them. Until their senior year. Paul was staying in town to get his engineering degree at Pine Have Academy. But Claire had gotten accepted at a university three states away.They were both brokenhearted. But they came to a mutual agreement: if they were both still single at the end of their studies, they would get married. And that is exactly what had happened. Claire had remained faithful the entire time she was gone. She had never even dated anyone else. During her entire tenure away, she longed for the day to return to Paul in the hopes that he was doing the same.
But he wasn't. He was now ashamed of himself. Ashamed of himself for all the women he had been with while Claire was away. All the times that he was laying in a bed next to someone that wasn't her and he regretted what he had done. All the times that he took advantage of women, and some ones that couldn't be considered women because of their age, and cursed himself for doing what he had done. And, he believed, these were that actions and atrocities that resulted in the reason for what was happening to him right now.
On his knees. Looking down. Clutching his chest where the bullet had struck him as he faded away and fell forward onto the dirt. Trying to remember something, but didn't know what.

To Be Continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Wed Oct 09, 2013 7:20 pm

Nicholas was growing tired. He searched for a narrow spot in the creek and jumped across. He fell short of his intended landing and his right shoe got soaked with water.
"Dammit."
He continued on toward the lights.
The first notable structure he came across was the post office. Although closed, there was still someone there dropping mail off into the deposit box. Probably a last-minute mortgage payment or maybe even a late birthday card. Either way, he didn't care. He needed to find someone of authority to tell them what he had seen.
Passing the post office, he looked left and right down the street in the dim light for any potential signs. And he found one. About three blocks down was a police cruiser parked in a hotel parking lot. He didn't waste any time. Upon entering the lobby, he immediately asked the counter attendant what room the officer was staying in. The attendant politely informed him that that particular information was none of his business but asked if he knew the name of the particular person. Nicholas resigned from the interrogation and went back outside to gather more information. Across the street was a gas station, still open and, according to the sign, still serving customers since 1969. He jogged over and went inside.
Nicholas had been in Pine Haven many times. In fact, he had spent several years there while attending Pine Haven Academy to earn his degree. But he didn't live there. He would drive in from his neighboring hometown to go to school, and then drive back. Occasionally he would stop and grab a bite to eat here or there, but he never really cared to really get to know the town. Like really know it. Pine Haven was a decent sized town. But the Academy was all the way on the west side of it, almost outside the city limits, right off the highway from his daily commute; there was never any need for him to go further into the town for anything. And now, standing inside the gas station, he felt like he was in a foreign country.
"Where is the police station," he asked the cashier.
"Jefferson and Oak," was the reply.
"I'm sorry. I'm not from around here. Can you give me directions?"
"Sure. From this street turn left. Go about six blocks. I think it's the second light. That's Oak Street. Turn left again and pretty much go across town. It's basically the last brick building on your right. You can't miss it. Huge 'Police' sign above the door. If you see the playground you've gone too far."
Nicholas thanked him and left the station. What he saw next made his heart skip a beat. It was the Jeep. From earlier. The same dusty brown and beige two-tone paint job. The enormous CB radio antenna sticking up from the rear quarterpanel. He knew that was the same one he saw earlier. And it was parked right across the street in the same hotel parking lot.
He stood stiff. Afraid he may be noticed. His knees started to feel weak. Then someone got out of the Jeep and walked toward the hotel. He was certain it was the same man he saw earlier. After the man had entered the hotel, Nicholas ran across the street, through the hotel parking lot and up to the front door where he peered in. The man went straight to the elevator, pushed the button, and got in. Nicholas quickly went inside. As he approached the elevator, he saw that the light was proclaiming that the elevator was currently on the fourth floor. He stared at the number for several moments until it finally changed to 3, then 2, and finally 1, where it remained. It dropped him off and returned to the first floor for the next person.
He rounded the corner back to the counter. Conveniently, a young lady stepped out of the back room. It was obviously not the gentleman he spoke with just a few minutes ago.
"Umm... I'm looking for my friend. He, uh..., said he was staying on the fourth floor, but I don't remember what room it was."
The young lady looked at her computer screen and typed a few keys on her keyboard. "And what is your friend's name?"
"Uh... His name? Well, everyone calls him Buck. But that's just his nickname. He's got a fairly common name, so Buck kind of makes him original. I honestly don't know his real name. I really don't think he ever told it to me." His hands began to sweat.
"Well, we've only got one guest currently staying on the fourth floor, and his name is not Buck, so I'm afraid I can't give you any more information. If you happen to 'remember' his real name I'd be more than happy to contact him for you. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"No. Thank you," Nicholas stated as he slowly turned away from the counter and walked toward the door. He stepped outside and walked toward the Jeep in the parking lot. As he did so, he casually looked over his shoulder and saw that the counter attendant went back into the office behind the counter. He seized the opportunity to quickly run back inside, across the lobby, and through the doorway to the stairs. He strided up the steps, two at a time, to the fourth floor. The attendant said there was only one person on the fourth floor; that was all the information he needed.
He exited the stairwell and looked down the hallway, lined with about a dozen doors. He quietly walked to each door, keeping his head low to hopefully avoid being seen in the peephole and listened through each door one at a time. At the fourth door he heard what he was listening for. The TV. He stepped to the side and looked at the plate next to the door. 408.
"Now what?" he thought. Down the hall a little was an the ice dispenser and vending machines. He decided to find a comfortable spot there and wait. But for what? He took a dollar out of his pocket and looked at the snack machine. He put the dollar in the bill acceptor and pressed B-3 for a Payday bar. He was so hungry. He sat down on the floor near the corner so he could peek around and watch the door to room 408. As he quickly ate the candy bar, he began to wonder what he was going to do if the man came out of the room. What if he came over to get a soda? Or some ice? He began to think of a reason for him being where he was. Why would I be sitting on the floor? How would I introduce myself? Why was my shoe wet? As he thought about these things he dropped the remainder of his dinner on the floor while he silently fell asleep.

To Be Continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Fri Nov 15, 2013 4:26 pm

After she dialed the numbers, she listened for the first ring through the receiver and hung up. It was their widely-known "secret" way of letting the other know who was calling. She waited a few more seconds and her phone started to ring. She picked it up before the ring could even finish.
"I need to put a stop to it. Right now."
"What are you talking about?"
"Mr. Sloan. I need to dump him. Or he needs to dump me. Either way, it needs to end. I'm just not okay with it anymore. At first, it was exciting because it was taboo, but my dad asked me where I was last night. I forgot you were with my mom for band practice and I stupidly told him I was with you. He caught me off guard; I hadn't even thought about an alibi. What do I do?"
There was a brief moment of silence on the phone before a confused response came back. "About your dad or Mr. Sloan?"
"Mr. Sloan, genius. I can't get rid of my dad!"
There was another brief pause. This time a much more confident voice returned. "Threaten him."
"What!? Like, say I'm going to kill him? He'd never believe me. He'd probably think it was pillow talk; like I'm coming on to him or something. Be serious!"
"I am serious. And I'm not talking about killing him, Becky. I'm talking about threatening him. Tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone that you'll tell his wife!"
"But what if he doesn't believe me? What if he calls my bluff?"
"Then tell his fucking wife, I don't know. I just think that if he sees how serious you are about him leaving you alone then he may just do it. He's worth a lot of money. If his wive divorces him, she'll take half of it. I don't think he'll risk it."
"But what if he does something horrible? Like hits me or something? I don't think that's a good idea."
"He's not going to do anything. Tell him at school, out in the open. If he hits you with all those people around it'll be an instant trip to jail."
"I still don't think it's a good idea."
"Do you have anything better?"
More silence.
"Fine. I'll tell him today when I get to school. He's usually waiting near the parking lot to see me anyway. There'll be plenty of people around." Another brief pause. "I'll do it."
Becky hung up the phone, thinking about how she would do it. What she would say. How she would say it. A knot in her stomach made her feel a little ill. She looked at the teddy bear holding the heart sitting atop her bedside nightstand, grabbed it, and stuffed it into her backpack before she went downstairs to leave for school.
Downstairs, in the living room, Becky's mom watched as her husband, holding his hand over the mouthpiece on the phone, quietly hung it up.
"Who was that?"
One last pause.
"Wrong number."

To Be Continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Fri Feb 07, 2014 9:33 pm

Claire followed Melissa into the police station. At first glance, the entire room is rather quiet. A few officers here and there, sitting at their desks, doing their required paperwork.
Next to the front door, there were a few rows of what looked like rather uncomfortable chairs to sit in while waiting to speak with somebody. Of those, only one was occupied. She was a rather young lady, maybe about 23, just ever so slightly heavyset but still what most would consider attractive. "Thick" is the slang that most kids threw around nowadays that would describe her.
"I'm going to talk to the desk sergeant," Melissa said as she gestured to Claire to sit down. Claire found a chair that was back-to-back with the chair that they young lady was sitting in, but not directly behind her; just two chairs off to the side.
Melissa approached the uniformed officer behind the large desk near the center of the room. She was a black lady, quite a bit older than Melissa and Claire, probably in her mid forties, but had a look about her that emanated a sort of confidence. Like she knew what you wanted before you would even talk to her.
And that's precisely what happened.
"Missing persons?" The officer asked.
"What?" The question caught Melissa off-guard.
"You look like you're here to report a missing person. Do you have the forms filled out?"
Melissa stood there with a puzzled look. She glanced at the nametag on the officer's uniform.
"The D is silent," she said, "It's Veldt. Just like felt but with a V."
"I'm sorry." It was the only response she could think of.
The officer gave her a long look of contemplation. "Don't be sorry, just be glad it's not my maiden name."
Melissa still stood there perplexed, as if this was the first time anyone had ever spoken to her. Officer Veldt opened a file cabinet drawer, took out a piece of paper, and held it out toward her.
"Fill this out. Give it to Menendez when you're done." Veldt pointed toward a window in a wall where another uniformed officer was speaking with someone. "Do you need a pen?"
Melissa turned back and stared blankly at Officer Veldt. She opened a different drawer, grabbed a cheap Bic pen, and placed it on the desk in front of Melissa.
"You can have a seat while you fill out the paper." Again, officer Veldt pointed toward the chairs where Claire had been patiently waiting.
"How do you know that's why I'm here?" It was the only thing Melissa could think to say. Officer Veldt just gave her a look of 'duh' and once again pointed toward the chairs.

Melissa took the empty chair next to Claire that was between her and the young lady. Using a clipboard she picked up near the front door, Melissa began filling out the form.
"Who is it?" came the voice from behind her. Melissa and Claire both turned their heads toward the young lady sitting behind them. "The person you're looking for. Who is it?"
"My husband," replied Melissa.
"Both our husbands," added Claire, "Why do you ask?"
The young lady looked down at her hands to contemplate her response. "Because that's why I'm here."
She looked up and saw Melissa and Claire both gaving her a puzzling look.
"No. Not my husband." She appeared to blush a little bit. "I'm not even married. In fact, I just broke up with my boyfriend. But my friend is missing." The young lady began to notice the look of disinterest on her two new acquaintances' faces. "She was in school Friday. Was supposed to come over that night. At least that's what I thought. But she wasn't at school yesterday. Or today." She looked like she would start crying any second. "She was in too deep with someone and she wanted out. Now I don't know where she is. Especially since this has happened to other before. Stacy Blaire and Amanda Deveraux. Both were students that went missing in the past couple years and were never found. You should be able to see my concern."
"I do," said Melissa, "my husband was gone when I got home. And now," Melissa pointed toward Claire, "my friend's husband is also missing. We're both worried. We know exactly how you feel."
Melissa watched as the young lady turned to look back toward her own lap. She decided to let her be and finish filling out her report. When she was done, she sat and waited until nobody was standing in front of Menendez' window. She got up and approached the officer to hand her the paper. Menendez took it, looked at it briefly, and then looked at another sheet of paper to her left before moving her attention back toward Melissa.
"Sheriff Duncan is supposed to be back in about 10 minutes or so. He handles missing persons cases personally. Do you want to wait for him? I can give this to him and he can talk to you as soon as possible."
Melissa didn't want to get her hopes up. "That would be great."
Menendez walked out through a door behind her in the small office she was previously in. Seeing that she would be back any time soon, Melissa took it upon herself to sit back down with Claire. The young lady behind them was still looking down at her lap with a solemn look on her face.
"I'm going to speak with the Sheriff," Melissa told Claire. "Apparently, he handles all missing person reports himself." Claire didn't seem to reassured.
"Since when does a sheriff take care of missing people? Shouldn't he have a team of investigators to handle that?" By her tone, Melissa could tell that Claire was getting a little worked up.
Melissa tried her best to calm her down. "Pine Haven is not a large town. Maybe they just don't have dedicated investigators? Maybe the sheriff is their only investigator?" Melissa could tell by the look on Claire's face that she wasn't in the mood to argue semantics. Instead, she just let her be and glanced over at the young lady behind her, who now looked like she had some tears welled up under her eyes.
"Sheriff Duncan is here." Melissa jumped a little from the startlement and turned to see Menendez standing over her shoulder, pointing toward a door at the far end of the room. "I gave him your report. He said he wants to talk to you." Menendez continued to stand there, pointing toward the door. Melissa got up, looked at Claire who gave her a "I'll-wait-here" look, and then she walked off into the direction of the door.
She walked through the door and was confronted by a rather handsome-looking man in what Melissa assumed to be his early forties. He was a rather "built" man with short, dark hair and a clean-shaven face. Other than that, with the uniform, he looked like an ordinary, everyday sheriff.
"Lisa tells me that you and your friend have a pair of missing husbands?" Apparently, he didn't waste any time getting to the point.
"Well... yes," was all she could let out.
"And has he gone missing before?"
"Never," she replied without hesitation, because he truly never had.
"Well, I can't say that missing people is a real problem in Pine Haven. So much so that we don't truly have any personnel to handle them. I usually just try to take care of them myself."
"What about Stacy what's-her-face and the French girl?"
"Mandy Deveraux? She was found at her parent's back on the East Coast. Turns out she just didn't like it around here and ran back home. If I remember, she was teased and bullied and doesn't care for Pine Haven much anymore. And Stacy, she eloped with her boyfriend to Las Vegas; probably got about a dozen kids by now and living off taxpayer's dollars if I had to guess. She spit in my face when I found her, so I didn't care much to make an announcement of her new life; just told her parents, closed the case and called it done." Duncan walked around his desk, sat down in his chair and gave Melissa an interrogating look. "So what's this story with you and your friend's husbands?"
Melissa went on to tell Duncan about how Nicholas went off to do some camping while she visited her parents. She told him about Paul and that she had a 'funny feeling' in her stomach when she spoke with him on the phone. She told him pretty much everything she knew about what happened and the whole time she was talking, sheriff Duncan had this rather unsettling, intent stare at her that was beginning to make her a little uncomfortable. After telling him everything she knew, she wrapped up her story and decided she needed to get out of here as soon as possible--she was starting to get a real uneasy feeling about the whole situation.
"Well, it was nice talking to you, Sheriff Duncan. I hope you can get this whole situation figured out as soon as possible." Melissa felt like she was beginning to sweat. She wanted to get out of here.
"Not a problem," Duncan said as he stood up from his chair. "I'm sure I'll have this squared away in no time."
Duncan rounded his desk and stood a mere few feet from Melissa. "And there's no need to be formal," he said with a car salesman smile, "you don't need to call me 'sheriff.'
Melissa felt almost every muscle in her body tense.
"My good friends simply call me 'John.'"

To Be Continued...
Last edited by jupider on Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."


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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by Cowboy » Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:30 am

Shit... it's getting intense :)

Found a typo, first post: "Of maybe just ignorant" (should be Or)
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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by jupider » Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:49 pm

Becky crossed the street toward the school. As she approached, she spotted Mr. Sloan walking from the parking lot toward the school. This was her chance. As she got closer, she watched him make a production of patting down all his pockets, then turned around and head back toward the parking lot hastily. He stopped next to what looked to be a rather expensive sports car; she guessed it to be a Ferrari. She found herself standing still in awe and quickly shook herself off and continued walking. She watched as the backed out of the car and stood back up.
"Nice car."
He jumped slightly, not expecting the conversation.
"Oh!" he exclaimed. Once he realized who caught him off-guard, he relaxed and smiled. "Hi Becky. Thanks, I just picked it up last night. I know a guy in Boulder, he was able to get ahold of one of these for me before they're even at the dealerships."
"It's pretty cool looking! Is it a Ferrari?"
Mr. Sloans smile slight faded and he chuckled a little. "Oh, no. Nothing that fancy. But it still looks pretty sharp, doesn't it?" He pauses briefly as Becky stares at him quizzically. "Um... It's a Fiero. Pontiac makes it. They put the engine in the back, though, just like a Ferrari." Becky started to lose interest. She was really hoping it was an actual Ferrari, she had never seen one in real life, only in magazines and on television. Mr. Sloan could see that she wasn't interested in the car anymore. "So," he fumbled for something to say, "any big plans for school today?"
"Well, actually," she hesitated, "I do have some big plans." She looked at him reluctantly. Mr. Sloan started feeling a little anxious.
"Is everything okay? What's the matter?"
"Mr. Sloan?" Becky had a hard time getting her words together.
"Yes?"
"I..." another short hesitation. "I..."
"What is it?"
"This has to stop." Becky looked around to see if anyone was nearby or paying any attention to them. Satisfied, she quickly pulled the teddy bear out of her backpack and tossed it into the open door of his car. "I can't do this anymore."
Mr. Sloan stared silently in disbelief. "What? Why would you..."
"I just can't do it any more. My mom is getting suspicious and it's just not right." She began to turn and walk away when Mr. Sloan grabbed her arm tightly.
"Now just hang on a minute." He forcibly spun her around so she was facing him again. "Let's talk about this."
"Let go of me. Or I'll scream." His grib loosened, but continued to hold her. She glared at him and spoke slowly, "let go or I'll tell your fucking wife."
He stared intently at her eyes, looking for any sign of a bluff. He did not see any, and let go of her arm. They stared at each other briefly before she once again turned and walked away. Mr. Sloan glanced around to see if any one had see what just happened, but it seemed that everyone was just going about their day as normal. He looked into the car at the teddy bear, slammed the car door, and stormed into the school. Once inside, he made his way to the Alumni Office, which he thankfully found empty. He rounded the conference table, sat at the desk at the far end, picked up the phone and dialed the number. After 2 rings, the voice answered.
"Yes?"
"John, it's Paul. I've got a problem."

To be continued...
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Pine Haven, a message board thriller by jupider

Unread post by Gobberwart » Tue Jan 24, 2023 1:42 am

And then...?
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