Food consumption text variations?

[Chachoregard]

I was wondering if some consumables would have a more "lively" consumption messages, a la KoL.

For example:

"You drink the cheap wine. You cheapskate."

"You probably eat the burger, it's ok, I guess"

[quote=""Dixon's Sour Apple Slushee"]"You drink the slushee. The combination of cold and sour leaves your face puckered and your brain hurting."[/quote]


Those are some of the suggestions I have at the moment, but you get my point.

[Gobberwart]

By all means keep suggesting them. If you're waiting for us to think of them, it's going to be a while, given the enormous amounts of other stuff to be thunk about

I'll use those three though thanks

IMPORTANT EDIT: READ THIS FIRST!

I may have previously given the impression that we need consumption messages for all food/drink items, which isn't the case. In fact, the vast majority already DO have messages, however some of the older stuff may not. Before you post anything, please read this:

Check the wiki. If there's a message shown there under "When Consumed", then we don't need another one. Unless it\'s a really brilliant suggestion we can't live without (see below re note on petite ladies with large weapons, however).

Even if there's nothing in the wiki, it doesn't mean the item definitely does NOT have a consumption message, it just means nobody's entered it on the wiki yet. You should go consume one (or more, see note on multiple consumption below) to make sure and, if you find that the wiki's not right, update the wiki.

Only after performing these checks should you post a suggestion for a new message, unless, of course, your idea is incredibly witty/clever/entertaining and you feel it should be mentioned anyway because it's better than whatever claptrap we've written. It could happen, although... I'm not going to be the one to tell soaK - she's quite small but *very* handy with a gigantic sword, or so I'm told. And no, that's *not* a euphemism for anything.

If your message contains references to anything at all, state that in the post, because what's blindingly obvious to you may not mean anything to me, and may therefore be overlooked/edited in a way that changes the meaning when added to the game.

Finally, a note re consumption for Wiki purposes: Many items have a different message that appears when one is consumed to that which appears when more than one is consumed. Usually it's just a variation on the first message, but I can think of at least one item off the top of my head where the messages are completely different. If you're editing the wiki, therefore, it's worth consuming one of an item, and then 2 or more at once, just to confirm.

[Reenix]

Artery Hardener:

"You eat the Artery Hardener. You almost choke from the MSG, but hey, look at your Arteries! They're so buff! You feel stronger, and now you've got a lot of energy to burn!"

Any type of 'spider' drink:

"You drink the <drink> Spider. Thankfully, it doesn't taste like spiders. We're not sure about the content, though. You feel like Patience Moufet, and with all this new time on your hands, patience is one thing you have."

Handful of "recycled" peanuts:

"You eat the pile of "recycled" peanuts. Tastes like a squirrel's digestive tract. Or a digestive tractor. Either way, ew."

Any type of Crushee:

You stir the Crushee around with the little plastic straw-spoon (stroon?), and drink it. It's like a combination of ice and colourings. So, brain freeze and a weakness to skin cancer. Yum!

[Gobberwart]

All updated. Except the Patience Moufet one, because even though I understood the reference, I couldn't find a way to make it sound right in the text. Let me know if you think of anything.

[Reenix]

BLT: "You eat the BLT. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3, and it tastes Y-M-E."

Dixon Corn Dog: "You eat the Corn Dog, pondering whether there exists a less appetising name for a snack."

Dixon Toffee Apple: "You eat the healthy apple, which is made completely moot by the inch-thick layer of toffee you have to break your teeth getting through. Still, it's tasty."

Dixon Cider: "You drink the cider. You're now guilty of cidercide."

[Gobberwart]

Heh, already got consumption messages for the corndog and the cider, but I've added the other two.

[Reenix]

Okay, cool. I'll keep 'em coming as I think of them.

[heliosa10]

Strange green spores:
You try eating some of them. Your end up feeling Gag-a-rrific.

[Gobberwart]

Hmmmmmm, there were messages for the spores, but just now I can't see the code. Which means either I forgot to write it or... best not to think about the "or". Fixing it now.

[Gobberwart]

Hmmm, no the code's there, nothing to be done. Oh, alrighty, I added the word "gag-a-riffic". Because they are.

[LGOD]

Soggy Bread
You eat the soggy bread, so, munch?

funky pink spores
You eat the funky pink spores. The awesome blend of flavours made you go OMG.

[heliosa10]

short pills:
You feel like ripping up your newspaper and spitting out your coffee.

Dixon Chips (TM) hot chips
You wish you brought some fish to go with these chips.

Dixon Balls (TM) hot jam doughnut
You wish you had enough balls to enjoy this snack.

sachet of "special" sauce:
This is just flavorless paste. You wonder if he just put's this on stuff so it "seems" special.

[Reenix]

Here's one: "You drink the tinselschlager. You're lucky you don't get tinselitis."

If there's already special for it, um...d'oh.

[Gobberwart]

OK, guys, come on, PLEASE do your research before you start posting suggestions.

Of the last 4 suggested, only the Dixon Chips don't already have a custom consumption message, and the last one... well, tinsellitis is in fact exactly what you DO get from tinselschlager.

Before posting a suggestion, check the wiki. If there's a message shown there under "When Consumed", then we don't need another one.

Even if there's nothing there, almost all items already have a custom message, so you should go consume one* to make sure the wiki's not just missing some information. If it is, update it.

Only after performing these checks should you post a suggestion for a new message, unless, of course, your idea is incredibly witty/clever/entertaining and you feel it should be mentioned anyway because it's better than whatever claptrap we've written. It could happen, although... I'm not going to be the one to tell soaK - she's very handy with a gigantic sword you know.

If your message contains references to anything at all, state that in the post, because what's blindingly obvious to you may not mean anything to me, and may therefore be overlooked/edited in a way that changes the meaning when added to the game.

Finally, a note re consumption for Wiki purposes: Many items have a different message that appears when one is consumed to that which appears when more than one is consumed. Usually it's just a variation on the first message, but I can think of at least one item off the top of my head where the messages are completely different. If you're editing the wiki, therefore, it's worth consuming one of an item, and then 2 or more at once, just to confirm.

[Reenix]

Oh yeah, I don't drink them, they're much better business items...I think I was in a Christmassy mood

[heliosa10]

I checked the thread but forgot to check the wiki. Ooopsies Gobb. *Hides head in Shame*

[heliosa10]

I did eat the sacket of special sauce and saw no message other than num num num though

[heliosa10]

slice of processed cheese: Mmmmm, Processed! ( I ate these, and I saw no message)

[Gobberwart]

I did eat the sacket of special sauce and saw no message other than num num num though

The sachet of special sauce wasn't there when I replied. Looks like you edited your post and added it at the same time as I was busy typing my reply. Thanks for that

[heliosa10]

Okay. Yeah I edited that post a lot.

[Gobberwart]

Changes made where required. Thanks guys

[jupider]

Ok, for LGOD's sake, I think we need to make a Katy Perry reference (or two) with the slice of processed cheese. Here's my suggestion:

Description: (Modified slightly from it's current description)

A slice of heavily-processed, slightly off-yellow looking cheese, made from a proprietary formula of secret ingredients at the Katy Perry Dairy Factory. You know it can't be good for you, but it's irresistable.

Consumption:

Without reason, you hum a catchy pop tune while eating the slice of processed cheese. It tastes a little different from other cheese you've eaten, but you figure it must be because of the secret ingredients.

[Gobberwart]

Enough with the Katy Perry cheese obsession. Seriously. All of you

[thedudeabides]

Why am I extremely grateful that I have no idea who Katy Perry is?