Create a PARADOX commercial

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sallyfox
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Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by sallyfox » Fri May 06, 2011 7:48 pm

I hate info-mercials, but I LOVE spruiking! :D

I would like people to write up a commercial/pro-mo for paradox ! I wanna see passion! I want some laughs! I want energy and enthusiaum!! :shock: Sell paradox as a MUST SEE destination, and that only a brain ded moron would fail to see the pure logic of making paradox their home in the sun.

First prize is a box of rasins (amazing horse inside) Second prize is the sceptre of secondness (a toy thermometer)

And every NON place getting entry will recieve 100k for their efforts....... win!! 8)

The winners of this competition will be announced at the end of may event...... (date to be set this week sometime :P )


Cowboy
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by Cowboy » Sat May 07, 2011 12:52 am

Paradox! The Musical is a magical place full of unicorn-riding gazebos, nice people, and trees! Come try it out! You won't be wasting any time, because you can just use our time machines to reverse the time you spent here if you don't enjoy it. (By the way, no one has ever done that because everyone enjoys it) Just listen to our testimonials!

Professor Von Noob says,
"Ugh, don't come to Paradox the Musical. I don't need any more brain dead students who party all night and won't stay off my lawn."

Legion says,
"Come to Paradox! The Musical so I can take my rage out on YOU!"

Harry Plopper says,
"Everyone hates me, but I still love Paradox! The Musical! Oink!"

Zammorak says,
"The only bad thing about Paradox the Musical is that there are no oranges."

Jazzycat says,
"Come to Paradox so I can hug you!"

Unknownz says,
"..."

Sallyfox says,
"(frog)"

As you can see, it's really a no brainser that Paradox is the right place for you (and all your friends).
Last edited by Cowboy on Thu May 19, 2011 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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JazzyCat
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by JazzyCat » Sat May 07, 2011 7:05 am

Awesome, Cowboy!!!!!

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commandermack
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by commandermack » Sat May 07, 2011 12:34 pm

Von Noob doesn't want us. :cry:

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darkgamr
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by darkgamr » Sun May 08, 2011 1:25 am

Do you often sit around with nothing to do? Do you often find yourself watching television for hours at a time, simply to kill time? Do you sleep more than 10 hours a night because you have nothing that you need to wake up and do? If you said yes to some or all of these questions, you may have a new disease called Lethargic Adult Recreation Deficiency(LARD.) If you or a loved one suffers from LARD or any of its symptoms, talk to your doctor about Paradox! The Musical. Paradox! is a once daily supplement that has been shown to treat LARD and all related symptoms within minutes of use. Paradox! is available in doses ranging from 50 to 250 turns, although because of the non-habit forming and safe* nature of Paradox!, doctors generally recommend the highest dosage possible. If LARD returns after treatment with Paradox!, many supplements are available to extend the duration of the effects, such as Paradox! Chat, Paradox! Forums and ParadoxWiki.

Side effects may include
  • Euphoria
  • Insomnia
  • Inexplicable gazebo hatred
  • Hardened arteries
  • Being hugged daily
Warnings
Do not use Paradox! The Musical if you have a history of trolling, jackassery or communication consisting primarily of abbreviations. Do not use Paradox! if you have an allergy to hugs, kindness or close-knit communities. Paradox! may not be for everybody, but do not let that stop you from informing everyone you know about it.

Ask your doctor about Paradox! The Musical today!

*One death has been found involving Paradox!, although it was not deemed the primary cause of death. In 2010 a Colorado man died of old age while waiting for beta
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by Cowboy » Sun May 08, 2011 5:08 am

ROFL darkgamr!
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jupider
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by jupider » Sun May 08, 2011 1:01 pm


[SCENE: A MAN and WOMAN are sitting in lounge chairs on a beach, presumably in the Bahamas or Carribean. The MAN is on his phone, oblivious to everything else around him.]

WOMAN: We are relaxing on the beach, enjoying the sunset in the most beautiful part of the world. What on earth is so important that you need to be on your phone!?
MAN: It was Intermission just a minute ago. I've got 96 turns to farm for meat patties. If I can get a Wristwatch, I can have 106!
[WOMAN gets up out of the chair and storms off. MAN doesn't even notice.]

[SCENE: The same MAN with a different WOMAN are at a holiday party, several people, presumably relatives, are in attendance. The MAN sits with a laptop.]
WOMAN: It's Christmas. All our relatives from all over the country are here to celebrate. Will you turn that off and be social!?
MAN: I am social. There's 23 people in chat! I just need to find someone with an extra Jolly Red Coat so I can finally have the complete set and get the outfit.
[WOMAN walks away from the MAN with angry look on her face. MAN doesn't seem to notice.]

[SCENE: The same MAN, dressed in black, inconspicuously using a tablet computer, sits outdoors next to yet a different WOMAN, with many others dressed in black, presumably at a funeral.]
WOMAN: (Without words, glares at the MAN with a "What are you doing!?" look.)
MAN: (Without words, stares back at the WOMAN with a "Duh. Beta was just released." look on his face.
[WOMAN shakes her head and scoffs. MAN doesn't seem to notice.]

[SCENE; The same MAN, sitting at a desk using a computer. Paradox! The Musical is obviously shown on the monitor. A completely different WOMAN walks in from off camera.]
WOMAN: What the hell are you doing!?
MAN: I'm donating to get some Tokens of Appreciation so I can get the new Limited Edition that Gobberwart released today!
WOMAN: (scoffs) I thought I told you! If you're going to donate for the new LEI, make sure you get one for me, too!
MAN: Sorry. I forgot.
WOMAN: It's okay. Just don't let it happen again or I'm going to open your Beta Launch Souvenir Goodies Bag!
[MAN gets a realy worried look on his face. WOMAN doesn't seem to notice. Or care.]

[TITLE CARD: "Paradox! The Musical" "You wouldn't understand unless you go there." "www.paradoxthemusical.com"]

Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by JazzyCat » Sun May 08, 2011 1:51 pm

Wow, I am impressed with all of the entries so far!!! What a talented group!

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JazzyCat
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by JazzyCat » Sun May 08, 2011 6:37 pm

Anytime is the right time to visit Paradox! The Musical!

Have you ever had one of those times that you just couldn’t sleep?

Have you ever had one of those times when you just felt all alone?

Have you ever had one of those times where you had some good news that you just HAD to share with someone?

Have you ever had one of those times when you wanted to be around a bunch of awesome people?

Have you ever had one of those times where you just needed a laugh?

Have you ever had one of those times where you wanted to meet someone new?

Have you ever had one of those times where you wanted to help someone out?

Have you ever had some spare time and couldn’t decide what to do?

If any of these sound familiar to you, then Paradox! The Musical is just the place for you. After all, it is About Time! Again, anytime is the right time to visit Paradox! The Musical!


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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by Cowboy » Sun May 08, 2011 8:16 pm

Sigh, Jupider wins again :P
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sallyfox
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by sallyfox » Sun May 08, 2011 9:41 pm

*note

Cowboy is NOT a judge :lol:

Im GLAD in not the judge.......... how the hell they will pick a winner is beyond me! :shock:

* Might have to make some random awards to do justice to the quality of entries.............. :wink:

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sallyfox
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by sallyfox » Thu May 12, 2011 2:51 pm

*bump

Dont STOP!! :shock:

MOREMOREMORE! :D

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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by LordCretin » Thu May 19, 2011 6:25 pm

A university professor is addessing an auditorium of new students, when a troupe of unicycle riding circus bears storm the stage and whip the speaker with angry midgets bearing rancid cabbage. Chaos ensues as the freshmen find all the escape routes blocked by animatronic fortune-tellers demanding their moolah.
The hall fills with aromatic smoke and the booming rhythms of Ride of the Valkyries, as sophomores and seniors descend from the catwalk and beat the invaders with lumpy gym socks, forcing them backstage.
Muffled roars and squeals of "The horror, the horror!" can be heard, as the head of the student body appears stage left, stubs out an unlikely looking cigar on the face of a passed out midget, grabs the mic and declares, "I love the smell of skunks in the hall," and "Peace is for therapists!"
The freshmen roar with applause and slink back into their seats, grinning inanely.
Letters burn into the screen:

Paradox! The Musical


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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by HamanKarn » Sun May 22, 2011 7:44 pm

[SCENE: Paradox University, somewhere on the campus grounds. A news reporter, wearing the journalism-standard overcoat and pants, holds a microphone as he speaks towards the camera. People strolling nearby pay no attention to him. The music introducing the report is classical stuff, reminiscent of the Victorian era if the Queen had hired a BBC staff.]

REPORTER: Today is an auspicious day for the illustrious Paradox University. For the first time in the institution's history, it has opened its doors to wayfaring peoples from across the multiverse, except for select star systems in the Not-For-Polite-Conversation Nebula (you know who you are). The dean mentioned a sort of galaxy-wide diversion where people can collect an assortment of deadly objects, most of them equipment one can usually find laying about in a museum, and utilize them in combat against whatever unlucky evil beastie happens to be in the vicinity.

[SCENE CHANGES to a derelict junkyard, where various duffel-coat-clad bears are scrounging for food, or possibly simply rearranging furniture]

REPORTER (voice-over): This old junkyard, dating to when the grounds were used as a convenient disposal site for neighboring communities wishing to do away with unwanted garbage or the occasional relative, shows some of the peculiar denizens you will meet during your stay. These bears, for example, have adopted a style of dress similar to that worn by their Paddington-area relatives.

[CAMERA PANS RIGHT to reveal moving dumpsters.]

REPORTER (v/o): And here we can see the justly-feared large rubbish bins common to junkyards, possibly leftovers from the Thatcher era. People claim that a mysterious ectoplasmic force has possessed these bins, causing them to have an intense territoriality, causing them to attack anyone intruding on their turf. We have yet to confirm similar rumors concerning Suffolk "no motor vehicles" signs.

[SCENE CHANGES to a woods on the outskirts. One could make out more bears, as well as a wood-gatherer nearby.]

REPORTER (v/o): Nothing like a trip to the woods . . . especially here, where the bears wear scouting uniforms and wood-gatherers would sooner fight you than engage in a discussion about the timber industry. Which is probably good, since the wood-gatherer seen here isn't particularly aware of it, and is more interested in theater.

[SCENE CHANGES to the interior of a dorm room, which looks rather shabby. Various posters cover the walls, most of them for bands such as The Screeching Walnuts and Crushed Pineapple.]

REPORTER (v/o): But not everything is hostile in this environment. Dormitories remain safe havens from the daily drudgery, whether it be term papers or fighting off the group of multicolored slugs you mistook for gummy worms. Here, you can enjoy your bumberry juice and relax in peace, knowing that the belligerent forces of nature will not invade your abode. Rest assured, Paradox University has taken great pains to ensure that you will be safe if you are stricken by wildlife.

[SCENE RETURNS to REPORTER, who now wears a flat cap, academic scarf and casual clothes.]

REPORTER: Paradox University would like to stress that if any spare eyes are to be found in your travels, don't hesitate to use them if you feel low. If you do feel hurt, a spare eye inserted into one of your nostrils will assuredly put you on the road to recovery. Other items have different effects; be on the lookout for particularly mysterious oil lamps that may litter the landscape, for they may bring good fortune your way. Or a good smack across the gob, if the occupant is annoyed.

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JazzyCat
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by JazzyCat » Sun May 22, 2011 8:00 pm

Keep 'em coming! Way to go everyone!

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sallyfox
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by sallyfox » Thu May 26, 2011 7:21 am

yeah, the awesomeness of the entries are scary!! :shock:

But its still worth having a go at the competition....... the worst thing that could possibly happen is getting 100k. So, fingers to the keyboard and create! Only a few days left to enter....... :cry:

And you just KNOW that I want YOU to win................ :D

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sallyfox
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by sallyfox » Sat May 28, 2011 3:39 am

And BOOM! :shock:

Contest is closed........ winners to be announced "soon" :wink:

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sallyfox
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by sallyfox » Sun May 29, 2011 5:59 am

And the winner is.......... JUPIDER :D
And second comes.........HAMANkARN :D

Well done to the winners, and a big thanks (and 100k) to all the "non" winners.

The entries were all top quality :D

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JazzyCat
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by JazzyCat » Sun May 29, 2011 7:42 am

Way to go winners! Great contest, Sally!!!

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jupider
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by jupider » Sun May 29, 2011 11:18 am

Wow! I didn't think I'd win given so many awesome entries. Thanks a lot! Everybody did an excellent job on this one. Keep 'em coming!
Gobberwart wrote:Jupider is EXACTLY right.
"In the time of war, we would never have left a man stranded."
"Maybe that's why we lost."

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LordCretin
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Re: Create a PARADOX commercial

Unread post by LordCretin » Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:19 am

Hyuck, hyuck, hyuckles, good go Jupider!

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