NEWS FLASH - June 10 - Melbourne AUS

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NEWS FLASH - June 10 - Melbourne AUS

Unread post by Grokly » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:19 pm

June 10, 2009
Dateline Melbourne
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In what may be the most complex paradox of modern time, a Melbourne man turned twenty-nine today on what was supposed to have been his thirty-sixth birthday. When the Melbourne resident who is causing all the stir was asked what impact this was going to have on his life, Mr. Gobb R. Wart replied, "It's still sinking in. It has a long way to go."

Dr. Phil Goode, Wart's physician told The Bunion News that Mr. Wart is posing something of a puzzle to the medical community. "We can't explain it. Every cell in Gobb's body, and indeed that is a lot of cells, seem to have regressed in age approximately seven years." According to Goode, Wart's tissue and bone mass, hair density and organ health have all mysteriously become 'younger'.

We asked Mr. Wart's wife, Elljae, what changes her husband's condition brought to the family. Unfortunately, she only grinned at us and would not answer.

TBN has learned that a team of geneticists, cellular biologists and college cheerleaders are due to arrive in Melbourne from the United States later this week to conduct a series of physical, medical and stamina tests. More may become clear when the results of these tests are leaked to the internet.

Mr. Wart, who has been developing an internet game that caters to the odd denizens of cyberspace, has now started contemplating the fact that, given seven years, he could feasibly finish coding his game before he even had the inspiration to begin it. We are still trying to figure out exactly what he means.

Current speculation amongst the gaming community includes the possibility that Mr. Wart is actually growing younger, in dog years. If this continues, the young Gobb will return to the womb in slightly over four years. When asked about the theory, Mr. Wart replied, "Well I guess I better get coding."


Grok Lee
The Bunion News
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